Happy New Year everyone! Hope your holidays were as wonderful and blessed as mine! I guess it is time for me to do my, "I'll be gone from my blog for a while" post. My surgery is on the 11th and I'm starting to get a little freaked out. I have been trying to have a sense of humor, cracking jokes and all. But the fact of the matter is I am a little bit terrified. I am having a hysterectomy as well as two other procedures. Don't want to venture into the "TMI" situation, lol. I found a really informative and supportive website called HysterSisters, if any of you find yourself in the same situation.
A part of me feels selfish about this. When my doctor told me I had to have a hysterectomy, I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I know I am SO BLESSED, but the thought kept coming to mind that I would never have a son. We weren't planning on having more children, but if it happened, we would be very excited. Then again, as a now 42 year old, I don't know if I could handle it physically or mentally. Oddly, I had an AMAZING reading with psychic Rebecca Rosen a few years ago. She told me that it would be better for "me" not to have more children, but that if I did have another child, it would be a healthy baby boy. Why did she have to say that? I envision this precious little boy angel, sitting on the clouds watching down on me and feel this ache in my heart that I won't be giving him life. I know, I am WAY too sentimental and kind of weird.
It isn't a life threatening situation. Just a situation to have a better quality of life. A much better quality of life. And then I think, but what if the worst case scenario happened? That would be so selfish of me to do that to my family. But if I don't do it now, then it is just going to get much worse. And if it all does go well, then by me having a better quality of life, I can do more things with my girls and build more memories with my family.
I just had a good cry. As you know, I LOVE to create art. Did I tell you that my neurologist wants to PURCHASE my Botox Shrine AND show it to the company that sells Botox. I get Botox injections to help with my migraines and the Cervical Dystonia in my neck. I was just so honored that she saw the beauty in the madness of my shrine. You can see it here: Botox Shrine.
So, back to my art... I won't be able to participate in any swaps or make any art for a while. That thought just breaks my heart. It is so therapeutic for me. And, I won't be able to participate in the next Itty Bitty Book. I have participated in every single book except for one and I think there have been about 24 books now? I have them all in a display case in my studio and just love them. Joining Mary Ann in the creation of her books is one of the first things I started to do as a "real" artist. So, needless to say, I am really upset to not be in this next one.
Because of the type of surgery I am having, my doctor told me that I basically can't do anything for four weeks and it will take me about six to completely heal. I have been trying to "train" my family and prepare them for this, but I am really nervous and don't think my girls completely understand. Hopefully they will all appreciate me and my cleaning a bit more after this, lol.
I have stocked up on beads for my next bead swap with the Marie group I am with, have plenty of books, both novels and artistic, and have purchased several new games so that the girls and I can play once I am up to it. I'm sure this procedure will help me to appreciate a lot of the little things in life as well.
Please keep me in your prayers and thank you so much for all of your visits. I look forward to sharing more of my adventures, both of life and of art, after this time of healing. God bless and take care!