January 1, 2011

Countdown To Surgery

Happy New Year everyone! Hope your holidays were as wonderful and blessed as mine! I guess it is time for me to do my, "I'll be gone from my blog for a while" post. My surgery is on the 11th and I'm starting to get a little freaked out. I have been trying to have a sense of humor, cracking jokes and all. But the fact of the matter is I am a little bit terrified. I am having a hysterectomy as well as two other procedures. Don't want to venture into the "TMI" situation, lol. I found a really informative and supportive website called HysterSisters, if any of you find yourself in the same situation.

A part of me feels selfish about this. When my doctor told me I had to have a hysterectomy, I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I know I am SO BLESSED, but the thought kept coming to mind that I would never have a son. We weren't planning on having more children, but if it happened, we would be very excited. Then again, as a now 42 year old, I don't know if I could handle it physically or mentally. Oddly, I had an AMAZING reading with psychic Rebecca Rosen a few years ago. She told me that it would be better for "me" not to have more children, but that if I did have another child, it would be a healthy baby boy. Why did she have to say that? I envision this precious little boy angel, sitting on the clouds watching down on me and feel this ache in my heart that I won't be giving him life. I know, I am WAY too sentimental and kind of weird.

It isn't a life threatening situation. Just a situation to have a better quality of life. A much better quality of life. And then I think, but what if the worst case scenario happened? That would be so selfish of me to do that to my family. But if I don't do it now, then it is just going to get much worse. And if it all does go well, then by me having a better quality of life, I can do more things with my girls and build more memories with my family.

I just had a good cry. As you know, I LOVE to create art. Did I tell you that my neurologist wants to PURCHASE my Botox Shrine AND show it to the company that sells Botox. I get Botox injections to help with my migraines and the Cervical Dystonia in my neck. I was just so honored that she saw the beauty in the madness of my shrine. You can see it here: Botox Shrine.

So, back to my art... I won't be able to participate in any swaps or make any art for a while. That thought just breaks my heart. It is so therapeutic for me. And, I won't be able to participate in the next Itty Bitty Book. I have participated in every single book except for one and I think there have been about 24 books now? I have them all in a display case in my studio and just love them. Joining Mary Ann in the creation of her books is one of the first things I started to do as a "real" artist. So, needless to say, I am really upset to not be in this next one.

Because of the type of surgery I am having, my doctor told me that I basically can't do anything for four weeks and it will take me about six to completely heal. I have been trying to "train" my family and prepare them for this, but I am really nervous and don't think my girls completely understand. Hopefully they will all appreciate me and my cleaning a bit more after this, lol.

I have stocked up on beads for my next bead swap with the Marie group I am with, have plenty of books, both novels and artistic, and have purchased several new games so that the girls and I can play once I am up to it. I'm sure this procedure will help me to appreciate a lot of the little things in life as well.

Please keep me in your prayers and thank you so much for all of your visits. I look forward to sharing more of my adventures, both of life and of art, after this time of healing. God bless and take care!



Michaele Sommerville said...

Good thoughts, and best wishes for a swift recovery!

Stephanie Suzanne Designs said...

Hi Rhonda,

I know you are scared. I'm the same way at the thought of surgery. BUT you need to keep positive thoughts. But you know that! I think it's good to release all of the anxiety now and keep it pent up inside...that's so bad for you.

Come read my New Year's day affirmation. It really soothes the soul.

Hopefully your girls are not going to let you down as far helping to keep the house clean and neat. This will be an eye opener for them but a good one I think.

I'll watch for your updates...please take care of yourself first right now....as selfish as that may sound it's really not. Everyone else in your family will have you back in their lives quicker if you can heal the way you need to. Self care is most important right now.

Love, Hugs and prayers for you,
Stephanie ♥

Jennie said...

Rhonda dear,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can appreciate your fears and emotions regarding this and encourage you to embrace each of them. You cannot heal from this without letting yourself feel.

Your family will come through and exceed your expectations. Things may not be done "your way" but know that they'll try their best.

Best wishes, high hopes and much love you. May 2011 bring you and yours much joy.

Jennie and the Pekes

Geralyn Gray said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you all the best and a quick recovery!!!!

Terri said...

I hope it all goes smoothly for you and you'll be back to doing what you love. Just follow the doctors orders.
We'll all be here for you anxiously awaiting you coming back.
Take care (I know you will)
Terri G.

Tristan Robin said...

My best wishes and thoughts go with you.

Looking forward to the after surgery good news.


Chia said...

Hi, been lurking for a while and wanted to come out of hiding to address your fears. I had my hysterectomy 6 years ago and like you, found HysterSuisters. It is a great site but keep in mind the few who have problems and those who need attention are always there posting. The many who have a smooth operation and recovery don't see a lot of need to post. The site can build fears as well as calm them. As for the doing nothing for 4 weeks - that is true as far as chores and such but you will find that you are back to sitting at the craft table for short periods a lot sooner than that. My best to you - follow the 4/6 week rules and you will have a good recovery. :)

GerryART said...

No advice from here.

Though, one good thing about surgery is that you won't have to do a thing.
You'll be snoozing through the entire procedure.

Rhonda there'll be a lot of blogging friends thinking of you and wishing you the very best.

Relax and take care of yourself.

Warmest of Hugs,

Terri Gordon said...

Oh Rhonda, You have been in my thoughts so much lately. I wish I was closer to help you and your family. I know how sad you are about this, but I also know how much better you will feel when this is all behind you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers and I pray for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery. Love and Hugs, Terri

Ivy said...

I'll be thinking of you Rhonda and wishing you a speedy recovery! xoxo

Rella said...

Well, it's only hours away now. I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow and awaiting word. You are in good hands and just letting go of the angst at this point is the best thing. Big, big hugs to you and I am pointing my 'mother finger' at you now "MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW YOUR DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS TO THE T!!"

XOX Rella