January 26, 2010

I Love You Sandee Puppy Love

I took this picture less then 24 hours ago. Sandee Puppy Love, sleeping with your girls and giving them lots of love. You looked so cute and I had to take a few pictures like I have done so many nights before. But this will be the last picture. This is my last picture of you.

Since your adventure two years ago, when you got out with Ohm and disappeared only to show up three days later. You crawled all that way home with a broken pelvis, and survived. I have been so hard core about not letting you both out at the same time. I would put you on the tether. But this morning, I didn't. You've been acting weird the past couple of weeks. Did you know this was coming? You even had a couple of accidents inside. I thought maybe your pelvis/bladder was bothering you and was starting to worry a bit. So this morning, when I thought you really needed to go, and I let you out even though I knew Ohm was out but he wasn't around when I called for him. It's all my fault. You ran up the back steps into the woods, sniffed for a bit and then ran behind the trampoline. I almost yelled for you to come back in, my usual paranoid self that something might happen to you.

Twenty minutes later, I heard Ohm barking in the front yard. I went out and he wouldn't come in. Just looking towards where you were, but I didn't know it at the time, barking like something was wrong. Just like he did the last time this happened. I yelled for you, thought maybe you were down the street with Tony. Ohm just wouldn't stop barking. I thought, "Is Sandee in front of that parked car there and I just can't see her?" I yelled to Ohm, "Go get Sandee Ohm. Go bring Sandee home".

Next think I know there is a message on the phone and I go to listen. It's a man telling me that my dog has been hit by a car and I need to call him. I freaked out. Threw clothes on Sophia and ran down the stairs, back to the phone to write down the mans address saying, "No, no, no". I heard Chuck at the front door and ran to it, swinging it open and yelled, "Sandee's been hit by a car". I knew by the look on his face. He said, "I know, she's in the car". I said, "Is she okay". No, she's dead.

I ran to the car and swung the door open, crying, "No, no, no, no, no". I just sat there holding you in my arms balling my eyes out. It's all my fault Sandee. I am so, so sorry.

The man who saw you get hit said it was a lady in a burgundy Explorer. She sped up, as if to hit you and just kept on going. He yelled at her, she ducked her head and sped away while my dog, my sweet little Sandee, screamed in pain. She dragged her little body to the side of the road and screamed for about two minutes before she finally died. My poor Sandee, suffered and died.

How can someone be so mean? How can someone hit an animal and just keep going? That dog is a part of our family. She takes care of me when I am sick or sad, plays with the girls and goes to bed with them. A devoted protector and love pup. And this girl just plowed her down and left her to suffer. Left her to die.

It's all my fault. Please forgive me Sandee.

Less then 24 hours ago, you were probably laying here beside me in the floor like you always do. Curled up at my feet. You sleep with the girls and then come in with me. You take all the blankets after you crawl under them and don't budge when I try to move you with my foot. And you lick my feet like crazy. So gross, but something I just finally became used to and it seemed to sooth me to sleep. I'll never sleep beside of you again. I won't wake to you in the morning.

Thank you for all of the wonderful memories throughout the years Sandee. You are such a good pup and we were so blessed to have you. I remember picking you out at the shelter, so scared with your little tale curled under. You were an instant part of our family. Oh my gosh, I just can't believe this is happening. I hope that you know how much we love you Sandee. How much you will be missed and how we will always remember you. Now go play in the fields with all of the other animals. Be at peace and we will see you one day when our time here is done.

All my love Sandee puppy love!


Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

damn, I'm crying for you.

What a terrible terribly thing - it's hard not to wish ill on somebody who would do something like that, isn't it.

It's certainly not your fault. If a dog has to go out, well, it has to go out. The only "fault" lies with the woman who hit and ran. What a cowardly nasty thing to do. But it's not the fault of a parent if their child gets hurt doing something nature tells them to do.

I am so so sorry this has happened. Give yourself lots of time to talk about Sandee and cry.


julie said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. I hope with time all of the happy memories of Sandee will help to ease your loss.

My Crafty Little Page said...

Oh Rhonda - I'm so very sorry. It's so painful....especially like this. No - I can't imagine not stopping. My prayers are with you and your family. xoxo Nancy

Frippery said...

My heart is breaking for you. How horrible. You can't blame yourself. Our dogs run off sometimes and there is nothing I can do but pray they get back safely. Please don't feel guilty. Whoever hit her, I hope they are feeling horrible right now too. Take care of yourself, and grieve for her as long as you need too.

Geralyn Gray said...

So sorry for your loss Rhonda........try not to blame yourself.

Awishdream said...

OMG! Rhonda, I can't believe this...your sad story brought tears to my eyes!! it's so terrible to think a person could be so cruel to hurt an innocent animal! I'm so sorry you have lost your precious Sandee! Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault! time heals, but the memories of Sandee live in your heart forever!
Hugs to you my friend...

Terri Gordon said...

Oh Rhonda, I am so sorry about your loss, I am such a dog lover, so I know how it feels, I also lost a dog to a car and the person did not stop, it is so hard to understand. I also know how animals become such a part of your family. I am so sorry for you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't blame yourself, remember the great times you had with her. Hugs, Terri

Becs said...

Oh Rhonda, I am so sorry for you and your family. I completely understand the love and attachment for a pet. My Kody is with me all the time and I would just be crushed if something ever happened to him. I lost my little Sadie before I got Kody and I loved her dearly....My heart aches with yours. Have you ever heard of Rainbow Bridge? It helped me when I lost Sadie. Here is the link if you want to go there and see what it is about:


Becs said...

Here's the poem about Rainbow Bridge:
"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... "

Author unknown...

debi said...

Rhonda, I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet little Sandee. Your story has brought me to tears.

I have two dogs who are part of our family, just like your Sandee. I can't imagine your pain right now, but please, do not blame yourself. The fault lies with the cruel woman who hit her.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs, Debi

Suze said...

My heart goes out to you at the loss of your sweet Sandy. I know you are grieving her loss as is the rest of your family. I lost my sweet Oliver two years ago and I still think of him and miss him daily. Take comfort in knowing you loved her and she loved you back and in the end, that is what matters the most.

Kim said...

Rhonda, I am so SORRY to hear this has happened and my heart goes out to you. It's not your fault!! I hope the woman who was driving the car comes forward to say she's sorry.

Your puppy will always be with you in your heart! Hugs to you!!

Shabby Cottage Shops said...

Rhonda ~ Words cannot express my feelings for the loss of your Sandy! This is just awful! Please read the poem Becs has posted. I, too, lost my Chesapeake Bay Retriever almost two years ago and can only tell you each and everyone who has posted such beautiful comments feels your pain! God Bless you and your family.


Sugar and Spice Art Confections said...

Rhonda~ So sorry dear! I just noticed someone saying you had written about this! I hope you all are doing better today. Sandee was such a cute little dog!

Rella said...

Oh no......I am so sad for you and your girls. so very sad. I know nothing we (your friends old and new) say makes you feel better, and I also know you are so happy you have so many wonderful photos of her. She had a wonderful, loving home with you..you gave her the best care and she must have been a truly happy girl. Death is part of our lives, but such a hard part.

Love to you
xox Rella

T's Daily Treasures said...

Obviously I needed a good little cry today as I came from Martha's Favorites to visit when I saw the sweet picture of your doggie. Little did I know it would be such a sad post of loss. I am so sorry to hear about Sandee. It's just awful that someone can hit a pet like that and drive off, never even thinking about how the animal is. You certainly can't blame yourself but I can understand your pain. Its so evident in the words you've written. God bless you! Tammy

Cassandra said...

This just breaks my heart! I am so so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

xox Cassandra

Retro Cafe' Art Gallery said...

Oh honey, this absolutely brought tears to my eyes. I have my own puppy love and I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But please know, this was not your fault and you are not to blame. I think we all have a time to go, even animals. It was her time. It's not your fault. You gave her such a wonderful life and she knows that.

Retro Cafe' Art Gallery said...

Oh honey, this absolutely brought tears to my eyes. I have my own puppy love and I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But please know, this was not your fault and you are not to blame. I think we all have a time to go, even animals. It was her time. It's not your fault. You gave her such a wonderful life and she knows that.

Kathy said...

Hi sweetheart~
I by passed all the comments and only read a bit of yours, because I simply can not let myself remember losing my furry. Gosh it hurts, doesn't it? But I did chat about it with you via FaceBook, and you know I said some prayers for you... It will get better and try to just remember all the great time with sweet Sandee...
Hugs with a BOO on top...